V rosi
Rosa prekrila
je rožnato cvetje,
rosa rojena
iz mojih solza.
Previdno se plazim,
stopam po prstih,
tiho,
neslišno,
da ptic ne zbudim.
Bosa korakam
po kamniti tej poti,
rosa prek lista
na obraz mi kaplja.
In hodim naprej,
da marvico srečam,
da nanjo obesim
v prerezu srce.
Ko čakam na travi,
da veter me vzame,
na ogled ga postavim,
spregledajo vsi.
Rosa prekrila
je rožnato cvetje,
rosa rojena
iz mojih solza.
Previdno se plazim,
stopam po prstih,
tiho,
neslišno,
da ptic ne zbudim.
Bosa korakam
po kamniti tej poti,
rosa prek lista
na obraz mi kaplja.
In hodim naprej,
da marvico srečam,
da nanjo obesim
v prerezu srce.
Ko čakam na travi,
da veter me vzame,
na ogled ga postavim,
spregledajo vsi.
32 comments:
tiho,
neslišno,
da ptic ne zbudim.
Bosa korakam...
Zelo lepo loviš trenutke in jih dobro izražaš. Ravno zjutraj sva z neikkom debatirala ob pripravi zbirke o tvojih pesmih.
Napravila si tak napredek, da si res izjemna.
Imej lep popoldan in miren konec tedna.
neikka
zbirka :)
meni boš tudi dala eno :P
končno vikend!
viva la revulution!
:)
Neikka, hvala. Všeč mi je, pravzaprav sem v pesmi zašla po tvoji zaslugi (kako smešno je, če te ne vikam, sem še vedno navajena na šolske dni, ampak upam, da ni zamere, na blogu je malce hecno vikati...)
aljo, res je, končno vikend. in zdaj uživancija.
p.s. matematika je bila pozitivna, jeeej :))))
Skozi pesem te čutim ves čas malce žalostno..., pa vendar z neslišno izrazno bolečino, ki preide v radost...
Smešno, a tako te zaznavam...
Imej lep vikend, Lucija
Pucca, hehe, bilo bi nedopustno, da me vikaš:))))
Kjerkoli sem kdaj poučevala in kogarkoli, vedno sem skušala vzpostaviti enakovreden partnerski odnos, ne odnos podrejenosti učitelj: učenec, ampak prijatelj ob starejšem prijatelju.
Moje veselje, če je tako!!!
Imej lep dan...neikka.
Všeč mi je ritem pesmi.
Pred nekaj leti sem šel na Visu 15. avgusta po poti, iz katere so štrleli ostri kamni, pogledat njihovo cerkvico. Čisto me je prestresla zavest, da so nekateri romarji šli tja po golih kolenih, še več pa jih je šlo bosih nog.
No, jaz se raje za tako priložnost obujem vsaj v opanke.
Je pa v tvoji pesmi začutiti res lepe odtenke nežnosti in mehkobe. Najlepši del je zame tale: "...Ko čakam na travi, da veter me vzame..."). Zelo lepo.
LPM
Hvala.
Pa upam, da vas novi izgled bloga ne moti preveč, rožnata zna biti za marsikoga nadležna barva, a naj vas to še ne zmoti pri pisanju komentarjev, haha :))))
Šla sem po stopinja rosnih kapljic solza. Ne moreš mimo nje, da v tebi ne prebudijo neke globoke občutke. Zelo lepa pesem, ki ti mora nekako seči v srce. Super!
Sem pa opazila čisto eno majceno napako, kar ne vpliva na vsebino... v bistvu na nič, je le tipkarski škratek:
je rožnato cetje, "cvetje" si najbrž nameravala napisati.
Lep vikend ti želim in hvala, ker prihajaš na moje strani...
Vilinček!
Ja, hvala za opozorilo, tipkarski škrat jo je zagodel.
"da mavrico srečam,
da nanjo obesim
v prerezu srce."
Težko sem izbrala, a ta verz mi je najbližji. Če bi ga izločila in izpustila oba "da", bi bil krasen lirični haiku, recimo:
Jutranja rosa.
Na mavrico obesim
v prerezu srce.
Mavrično nedeljo ti želim, Pucca!
Alenka
Alenka, krasno dopolnilo. Lep dan tudi tebi. Sonček nas je obiskal :)))
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